Extreme r&b

Hi folks! I’m back. I don’t know where I went. Nashville, then I just didn’t post anything. Sorry.

Today is Sunday (well, it is now; it won’t be when this gets posted), so I’m cooking a lot of things. I just made a ridiculously awesome breakfast sandwich with:
-a multigrain roll (life tip: multigrain bread does not belong in breakfast sandwiches; dear self, please remember that)
-cheddar cheese
-2 fried eggs
-happy turkey bacon (there was no regular happy bacon. I wanted bacon)

Next up is lunch for the week—rice and beans, fancified. A few weeks ago I made really really good black beans with many spices and yellow rice (my secret: bouillon cubes and Goya seasoning… whatever, it’s really good and salty and makes brown rice taste good) but never wrote about them, and now I don’t really know what I did. Now I’m going to try to reproduce it, but with pinto beans, which I’ve never cooked from scratch before, and poblano peppers, which I don’t know much about, but they are big and green and pretty, and I always want to make chiles rellenos but then decide not to, so I’m deconstructing them. And jalapeños, because. I guess I couldn’t decide whether I wanted to make tacos, quesadillas, burritos, rice and beans, or stuffed peppers, so I just decided to take every ingredient ever and put them in a bowl. Or a tupperware. Or a generic off-brand plastic container.

The pinto beans soaked overnight—not strictly necessary, but should cut down on cooking time a bit, and since I remembered to do it I figured why not—and are now simmering in water several inches to cover with half a peeled onion, as Pati Jinich suggested.

This breakfast sandwich is extremely good. Mostly because of the turkey bacon. It just tastes like smokiness. AND MEAT. I’m having a meat resurgence in my life. It’s going well, and yummily.

It’s now been 37 minutes, and the beans smell really good. I’ve never really had that happen before… usually they just smell like nothing. Yay. Wow, I was just reading the synopsis for this week’s Splendid Table and read “kombucha” as “homicide.” That was deeply weird.

Holy motherfucking god. I just did the scariest thing I have ever done in my life. I was researching how to cook poblanos, and every website without fail said you HAD to roast them over an open flame and then peel them. This is one of those things I’d seen done on many food blogs and always figured I would absolutely never do, but today I was like, well, I have nothing to do, it is horrible outside, and I am just sitting around, I might as well just do that. AHHHHHHHHH. OK. So first, I put my toaster rack over the burner, as someone sort of suggested (well, they suggested a cake cooling rack). I turned on the flame and put the peppers on. Immediately, all the little crumbs on the rack caught fire, and there were little red sparks everywhere. Then the rack itself started to burn red-hot. Then the fire alarm went off.

I was already freaking out because of too much coffee, and now I thought I was going to die and kill everyone in the building as well. Eventually the fire alarm stopped beeping (a combo of poking it with my broom and running the exhaust fans); I removed the toaster rack and put it on the counter, and just started roasting the poblanos one by one over the open flame. Still terrifying: there were all these little popping noises, lots of little red embers all over the surface of the peppers. But you could watch them broiling: you could see the flame hit a spot on the skin; it would blister and turn white, and then slowly blacken. I used tongs to turn them over on all sides and got them more or less blistered all over. The shape makes that difficult and my apartment smelled like burning, so I couldn’t bring myself to really char them all over. They’re now steaming in a plastic bag so the skin is easier to remove.

Chop chop chop (onions and jalapeños. I will have to rub my eyes intensively before chopping the jalapeños, since I should then refrain from doing that for a while). For the jalapeños, chop off the tops, then slice in half lengthwise and remove the ribs and seeds, then slice in half again, lengthwise, and dice. (All my cuts are burning!)

I put the diced jalapeños and onion in a frying pan (after heating some olive oil), and sautéed while I peeled and chopped the pobloanos. They were really hard to peel—it was definitely easiest in the charred spots and absolutely impossible in the non-charred spots—and not really cooked through. (All predictable outcomes.) The beans finished cooking; I added a bunch of salt and cooked a little longer, then drained most of the liquid and added the peppers and onions, and a bit of each of the spices listed below. Now the heat is back on, I mashed the beans with the back of a wooden spoon, and everything is mingling. I’ve already washed dishes like three times today. Now I’m bored because the rice is still cooking and I don’t know what to do with myself.

Not exactly what was supposed to happen…

I just remembered (while dishing out the rice) that the last time I did this I only needed three lunches, not five. This will NOT MAKE FIVE LUNCHES unless you don’t eat a lot. Scale up.

I refuse to apologize for how this looks.


Extreme r&b
Not adapted from anyone, but with the advice of Pati Jinich and Kathleen Dobek of “Cooking in Mexico” (thanks, Kathleen!)

1/2 lb. pinto beans
1/2 onion, peeled, whole
3 poblanos (probably way too many; I’ll let you know)
2 jalapeños (ditto)
1 onion
pinches of:

  • cumin
  • pepper adobo seasoning (Goya) (I bought a huge amount of this a long time ago and have to use it) (I am so judgmental of  bloggers who use stuff like this, so you can judge me obnoxiously if you want)
  • oregano
  • cayenne pepper
  • black pepper
  • salt (well more than a pinch)

cilantro (fresh, or frozen in ice cubes)
1 c brown rice (or white; I just have brown)
1 bouillon cube (remember that time I tried to use up all my chicken bouillon cubes and said bad things about them? I still have like a million)
1 package Goya saffron seasoning

Make the pinto beans: Soak overnight. Drain and rinse, then put in a pot, cover with several inches of water, and add the onion. Bring to a boil, then turn to a simmer and cook, partially covered, for about an hour and a half. Drain and return to the pot; combine with the various spices, tasting frequently, and heat and mash until combined and refried-looking.

Make the vegetable mixture: Cook the poblanos however you want; I won’t judge. (If sautéeing, chop into strips first.) Dice the jalapeños and onion; sauté them in olive oil until soft and slightly browned.

Make the rice: Put the rice, 2.5ish c water, and seasonings into your rice cooker. (Or cook your rice however else you cook rice.)

Combine everything, mix, whatever, bring to work for lunch. I was going to put cheddar cheese in as well, but probably won’t bother. This is the most intense rice and beans of all time. Don’t make this. I’ll post an easier method sometime.

4 thoughts on “Extreme r&b

  1. Hello, How nice of you to include a link to my blog, Cooking in Mexico, on how to roast and peel poblano chiles. If you would like to edit the link to be more specific, instead of “this person”, that would be appreciated. You could either substitute Cooking In Mexico or Kathleen Dobek.
    Thanks! 🙂

  2. Pingback: What I did for food | The Relatively Shitty Cook

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s