Always obey the New York Times. (NOT.)

On Wednesday I got back to work from vacation and was reading my email and the New York Times was like, you should make broccoli rabe lasagna this weekend, and I was like, YES IN FACT I SHOULD. I very impressively went grocery shopping after work the next day in the middle of a polar vortex or whatever it is this time (it WASN’T THAT COLD, PEOPLE. You all need to spend a winter in Estonia). (Or Siberia, I guess. But I got there after January and it wasn’t that cold. Only like -10°C. I once told my teacher I was cold and she gave me this very pitying look and said, “This is very warm for us.” But now I know that she was doing that thing where you try to seem cool by pretending you’re not cold. I have embraced it, as you see. But it’s really not that cold here though. The inside of your nose doesn’t even freeze.)

Anyway, I decided there was no need to leave the apartment all weekend, since I had to finish copyediting (I want to link to the book but I can’t decide if I shouldn’t???), and also use the cold as an excuse to have a much-needed two full days without talking to anyone. I had stocked up on baking and food things, so in between copyediting I made toasted rye molasses chocolate chip cookies (we hate Chris Kimball now, though, right? oh well) and pear bread and watched Good Behavior, this show I became obsessed with on the plane back from Shanghai and which caused a rift in my friend group because I said the main guy was the hottest guy of all time and none of them agreed. Anyway, a lot of exciting things happened on the show, so I made extensive mistakes in the baking processes, but it’s fine.

Cookies

So beautiful cookies. They taste like normal cookies.

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C is for Cookie Disaster

This is a guest post from my dear friend Freda, whom I have known since earliest childhood. She is awesome.

 

In the Disney movie Ratatouille,  the adorable rat Remy is guided by the spirit of Chef Gusteau who boldly tells him “Anyone can cook!” Well readers, I am here to tell you he was wrong.

I cannot cook. I can, however, turn the perfectly wholesome idea of yummy chocolate chip cookies into a pipe-bomb-like disaster.

It all started out very well intentioned.  I placed six Hershey’s frozen break and bake cookies in a Pyrex dish and put them in the oven at 350 degrees for about 12 minutes. Once done, I placed the Pyrex dish on the stovetop to cool.  At this point I thought to myself, what goes  better with cookies on an unseasonably chilly night than a cup of hot tea?

Now, here’s when things went a bit awry…

In my exhausted stupor, I put the kettle on the back burner, but turned on the front burner instead—the very same front burner that I had rested the Pyrex on.

Three… Two… One…. BANG

Shortly after, I heard what sounded like ten different dishes dropping on the floor. In reality, it was little bits and shards of cookie and glass shattering to bits, coating my kitchen in a dangerous kind of pixie dust.  Oops.

Did I mention the small kitchen fire?

The entire mess took three days to clean. And I can’t even say how this has affected my relationship with chocolate chip cookies.

Moral of the story?  Not everyone can cook. Some people really do need adult supervision. And next time you want warm, gooey, fresh from the oven homemade cookies—go to the supermarket.

 

On an unrelated note (it’s me again), you should make some mug cookies.

I made this a really long time ago and don’t even remember if it’s good. But it probably was.